so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
