Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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