im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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