That's intense
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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