Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
