but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
