you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
