It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
