You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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