In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
