your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
