I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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