I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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