I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
