well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
