when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I look better un-naked...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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