I want to make a zoo with you.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
