you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
