last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
