Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
