We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
