I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
