Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize