Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
