The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
