just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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