just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
