rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
