oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
