Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
