It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
