today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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