we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
