Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
