Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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