I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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