i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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