I smell stomach acid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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