I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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