We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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