So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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