she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Are we still banned from the library?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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