btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
