I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
