I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
should my penis look like a turkey
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
