dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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