At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
