he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
