the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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