did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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