Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
