I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
