My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
