i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
