that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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