I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
