Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I party with great urgency now.
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