I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
