By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
