i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
