So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pants are for mortals
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
