remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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