if you like me you must not know who I am
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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