i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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