It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
