I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
