I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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