Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
