just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
