If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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