I wannas sexs uuuuu
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize